Connectedness

Posted in Life by

Currently:

Eating chocolate mousse while watching Mrs. Doubtfire and sitting next to my cat. Trying to think of a good way to talk about this topic that I have been dying to talk about for a few months.

What’s going on?

To be honest, these last few months have been some of the hardest I’ve ever experienced. I’ve kept these issues very private and have tried my best to internalize them as much as possible to avoid being a burden on others, but I’ve realized just how bad of an idea that is.

Panic attacks

For the last 2 months, I have been suffering from debilitating panic attacks. I’ve always had anxiety, and yes, it’s an uncomfortable disorder, but this was different. My first panic attack: I woke up at 4:30 am because my heart was beating out of my chest. I was crying because my thoughts were racing. I was scared, I felt hopeless, I thought I was going to die. I put on a meditation video on YouTube and eventually fell asleep. Next morning “Phew! Thank God that is over, what the hell?”. I almost made a joke of it, chalked it up to a one-time thing. Nope. Fast-forward to 3 weeks later, I’m working out at home, and all of a sudden, it’s that feeling again. I was home alone, felt hopeless, helpless, all I could do was lay in my bed and cry while trying to keep up with breathing techniques that I had learned.

This is where the real panic set in. “Is this forever?“, I asked myself this along with many other questions such as, “What is wrong with me?”. I continued to get them more frequently, every single morning in fact. I’d wake up because my heart was beating too fast and I’d go into my living room to make tea, try to breathe, lay on the floor. During this time I had to leave work early, leave class early, neglect obligations. I couldn’t eat, didn’t want to be around people, it was hard to function. Where was this all coming from? Do I need to get on medication? Who do I feel comfortable talking to? I was absolutely lost.

Uh, so what now?

I wanted to write this post to release some of the things that I’ve been feeling. Panic attacks can be so isolating. However, writing is something that has helped me through this. I’m not an expert, but I want to share what has helped me so far, and I’m sure this list will grow over time.

  1. Therapy: First thing that I did when I noticed the second panic attack was look for a therapist. I don’t have health insurance so that definitely added more anxiety to my situation for a moment, but there are always therapists that you can find who have those in a similar situation and will work with you on payments. I was lucky to find someone close and willing to work with me. I bring a journal to the sessions and this really helps me a lot. I choose not to be on medication for personal reasons, but that is my choice and I know everyone’s circumstances are different. If you and your therapist feel that meds are the best route for you – do it! I know a lot of people who have had a lot of success with them.
  2. Writing: As I mentioned, writing has been an amazing part of my healing process. I have a journal that I write everything in. How I’m feeling, general thoughts, therapy notes, etc.
  3. Yoga and meditation: This. I started doing both weekly and I’m almost certain this is a big part of why most of my panic attack symptoms have disappeared. Yoga has become something I can’t live without. Being with a community of people, challenging myself, watching myself grow with each class. Meditation is equally as important as it has forced me to gaze from outside of my current little hurricane and find balance and peace. This leads me to my next point…
  4. Connectedness: Notice the title of this post (I’m not letting my panic attacks steal the title here). Connectedness. This has been the #1 thing for me. I went to a meditation class a few weeks ago on a whim. Once class began, we went around the room and started sharing our individual stories. 3 others in the class related to what I had said and reached out to me after class. We ended up talking for hours. This was huge for me. After weeks of feeling so alone, helpless, and confused, I now had 3 new friends who went through the same exact thing and they were offering me tips and support. If you struggle with panic attacks, this is the best piece of advice that I have. Reach out to people, find meditation classes, find groups for people struggling with similar issues.
  5. Read relatable books: I started reading Option B by Sheryl Sandberg. While this book isn’t directly related to panic attacks, there were some really transferable takeaways such as the 3 P’s:
    Personalization: The belief that we are at fault.

    Pervasiveness: The belief that an event will affect all areas of our life.

    Permanence: The belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.

    My problem was mostly with the last 2. If you’re struggling with panic attacks know that they will not affect all areas of your life and they are not permanent. I repeat, they are not permanent.

I am still learning

This hasn’t been a pleasant experience and although I probably haven’t seen the last of my panic attacks, I am more prepared for them and consistently getting better with time. Some important things to note: Not everyone understands this disorder, even family and friends. Be patient with them. Next, don’t webMD your symptoms or put too much faith in the stuff you find online, it can worsen the anxiety. Lastly, and most importantly, panic attacks are usually a sign of something deeper. Repressed emotion, abundance of stress, fears, etc. In my case, I overestimated what I could handle this semester (working, school full-time, looking for and interviewing for internships, etc.). I was very hard on myself and internalized much of my stress causing my anxiety to manifest into panic attacks. Everyone is different, but consider what the stressors are in your life.

I hope that this post helps someone. Please reach out if you ever need anything, want to discuss this topic, share your story, or share helpful tips.

 

Xo

May 18, 2017
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Focus

Posted in Life by

It’s been awhile since my last post but I’ve been staying pretty active on Instagram @BlshngBlss. I have so many things I’d like to write about, but I thought today we could focus on the art of focusing.

I’m three months into the semester, and to be completely honest, I’m a little overwhelmed. Accounting, economics, and managerial courses have completely taken over my life. By the time I get home from school, I want nothing more than to sleep. This along with applying for internships, cleaning, making time for friends and family, etc. is a lot to handle.

There is so much that I want to do. I want to write more, eat better, exercise more, read more, explore more… Sometimes I feel as though I’m missing out on a lot/ not being efficient with my time. If I’m being totally honest, I tend to shop when I can’t focus, perhaps to avoid that which needs my attention. “Ah, I should probably start this accounting home–, actually, I forgot to buy kombucha today, let me head to whole foods”. Does anyone else struggle with this?

I’m almost sure we all go through this at some point, and if you do, I’m going to share some ways that I’m going to try to recognize and reverse these behaviors so that I can focus better and accomplish more. I will share my findings in a month.

1. No shopping for one month (or more):

I don’t know about you, but I’m continuously looking for more things that I need. Whether it be food, clothes, etc. I’m going to challenge myself to not purchase anything for one month. Now this doesn’t include perishable produce (I still need my vegetables), but I won’t buy anything processed and will use everything that I already have in my pantry. I will not buy clothes, make-up, or any other material items. Because I’m not allowing myself to shop, I hoping that I will shift my focus to more important areas.

2. Daily to-do/ goal lists:

This will help me to stay mindful of what needs done and it will also help me to prioritize my tasks and come up with with execution plans. Every morning I will write a daily list of goals and the steps I need to complete them. At the end of the day I will cross off what I’ve completed. I really think that this will help me to be more productive and feel more accomplished overall.

3. Limit social media:

This is another big distraction for me. While I’m not particularly active on my personal accounts, I do enjoy following my favorite health and wellness instagrams. I feel as though they’re super motivational and encouraging. Unfortunately, I sometimes spend a bit too much time and it takes away from my ability to get my work done. As an extremely busy person, I have to be mindful of where my time is going. So for the next month, I am going to challenge myself to spend less time on social media.

4. Meditate

I’d like to start meditating every day. Not only does this help with focusing but it also helps with stress and anxiety. I plan to use the app “Calm” (I’ve read great things about it). I hope that this will help me to focus more as well as relax. I hope to connect with myself more and have more balance in my life by adding meditation to my daily routine.

If you’re interested in trying this challenge with me, please follow me on IG and get in touch with me! Also, if you have any additional tips in this area, I’d love to hear them.

Xo

April 10, 2017
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The Universe Has Your Back

Posted in Life by

Hello all!

I hope everyone has had a great weekend. I’ve been wanting to do a post on this book and just a few thoughts surrounding it for awhile now. This book has been really important in a very personal and spiritual transformation for me. I’ve always believed in the laws of attraction and “the secret”, but as I get older I really feel more of a connection to everything.

I can think of a few distinct things that have happened lately that have forced me to change my perspective on a few things. While most of them were unfortunate things, they come with much benefit and I’ve evolved more because of them. Without bringing them up, I feel that I have more of a zest for life. We take so many things for granted without meaning to, but it inevitably happens. Often times we aren’t grateful for our cars, until they break down. We aren’t grateful for our health, until we become ill. We aren’t bad people because of this, but because daily life can become so overwhelming – it happens.

 

Daily appreciation:

I personally have been looking for ways to appreciate my life more daily. As I was reading this book, I started writing daily affirmations every morning including things that I was grateful for and things that I wanted to manifest. One example is that one morning last week I wrote, “The company I interviewed with will email me today and tell me they were impressed with me and would like to request another interview” and not even an hour later, I received an email using those exact words.

Writing daily, weekly, or even monthly lists of things or people that you’re grateful for gives you a moment to acknowledge all that you have to be lucky for as well as thank the universe for placing these things in your life. I really do notice when I acknowledge and feel gratitude, more of the right things come my way.

This book/ my thoughts:

However, sometimes, it’s hard to be positive. If you need guidance or you feel lost, Gaby mentions something really cool in this book. She says that if you’re looking for direction or a sign from the universe to choose a symbol; this can be a sequence of numbers, a random animal, really anything you’d like. Ask the universe to guide you and when you’re going the right way, you will continuously see this symbol every where. Maybe this sounds crazy if you’re not into this sort of thing – but I’ve experienced it and you really have to just be open to it.

Maybe this is a bit much and all over the place but my question for you is, why wait? Why wait for something unfortunate to happen to appreciate all of the things in your life? Yes, some lessons are very hard to learn, but they have their purpose in your life. It’s hard to be positive sometimes, especially for those who have pain and illnesses, but it’s so important not to focus on the negative parts because the more that you do, the more they will manifest in your life. Find the smallest things that make you happy and build from there. Eat a balanced diet so that you’re well nourished and choose your relationships diligently and carefully, these things matter a lot more than people think.

I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in living a more positive life. It comes with exercises and is very realistic and relatable for anyone. I truly feel as though it’s helped me to look at my life a little differently.

What are your thoughts on this? Any other book recommendations? Leave a comment below.

Xo

February 5, 2017
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Sampling Alima Pure

Posted in Beauty by

Hello, hope everyone’s weekend was amazing!

I wanted to do a post on a makeup company that I’ve recently learned about, Alima Pure. The make up looks absolutely beautiful on the site and is free of parabens, sulfates, synthetic dyes, phthalates, dimethicone, petroleum, talc, bismuth oxychloride, and nanoparticles. Most importantly – they don’t test on animals. But here is a full list of companies that do, while we’re on the subject (definitely boycotting all of them).

The products at Alima Pure aren’t that expensive, but before investing I kind of wanted to try them out first. I found this site where you can purchase Alima Pure and other samples for 25 cents a piece! I received my order recently and here is what it looked like.

From left to right – Apple Blossom blush, Grace eyeshadow, Silk eyeshadow, Couleur Caramel concealer, and Mohair eyeshadow.

(In this image I have the concealer last)

Verdict:

Try, try, try! I was very happy with these samples. The apple blossom blush blended so well, and the color looks great on every skin tone. The concealer had a great consistency and while not heavy coverage – it was enough for my annoying dark circles. The shadows were pigmented, blendable, and I found the colors I chose to be versatile and easy to work with.

What is your favorite natural makeup brand? Have you tried Alima Pure? Comment below!

Xo

January 22, 2017
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Mac Favorites

Posted in Beauty by

This will be a short post on some of my favorite Mac Cosmetics products. Recently there was a 20% off promotion online and in stores (never happens), so I decided to repurchase some of my tried and trues. People tend to either love or hate Mac. For those who have acne prone skin, I don’t recommend some of their products because they’re very pigmented and usually have some fragrances. For me personally, I’ve never had any issues so I continue to use them.

I also read something online recently that said that Mac cosmetics actually tests on animals. I gasped at the thought of this and immediately wanted to throw everything out. Luckily – it’s not true.

Either way – maybe not as natural as my wonderful Honest Beauty products, but I love Mac nonetheless. Here are some of my favorites:

Strobe cream  I like to mix this with my foundation for a moisturized glow and hydrating finish. Not overly shimmery and can be worn alone without makeup to brighten up your complexion.

The Volcanic Ash Mask and the Matchmaster Foundation These two are beyond amazing. You only need a very small amount of the mask to cover your entire face. I leave this on for 10-15 minutes once a week and it makes my skin so soft. It has sugar crystals that exfoliate your skin gently without irritating it. Oh, and it smells amazing. As for the foundation – this one gives me medium to full coverage, blurs my imperfections & isn’t too heavy. What more can you ask for?

Mac Makeup Wipes 100 wipes for $29 isn’t bad, especially when they work like these do. Not much to say other than the fact that they do the job and they smell amazing.

Prep + Prime BB Beauty Balm Compact This is my first time trying this. I picked it up because it was on sale and I’ve always wanted to try it. While I do like it to just kind of set everything, I probably wouldn’t buy it again. With this you need to be careful not to use too much or it doesn’t set right. It seems to look the best when you use a very little amount of product.

That’s all I have for today. Please comment and let me know your Mac favorites!

Xo

January 11, 2017
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Being Grateful

Posted in Life by

With Thanksgiving being so close – I wanted to share a post acknowledging those who I am grateful for in my life. We are so busy day-to-day – sometimes it’s easy to forget how privileged we are to be playing with a full deck and to be surrounded by people who love us. I am grateful for my entire family – including my boyfriends family who have made me feel so welcomed since day one.  Aside from the people in my life, I am also grateful for my home, job, education, food, health, car, nature, animals, my opportunities and even my failures. With that being said – I’ve made a list of ten people who I am grateful to have in my life. No names – so you’ll just have to guess which one is about you 🙂

10 people I am grateful for:

  1. We are polar opposites. I don’t understand the science behind things and you don’t understand metaphysics. Sorry if I get annoyed with you sometimes – I’ve just always had to learn things for myself – I am a doer, that’s how I learn. I know you only try to protect me. I see the world through rose-colored glasses and I think you paradoxically love and hate that. Even though we’re both fire signs, I think we balance each other out. You have encouraged me to do more, to be more. I think together we can do anything. You are my best friend, mentor, and soul mate. What I like about you is that you don’t take anything at face value. You are strong, disciplined, and have a heart of gold. I also made this the first one because I know you have a short attention span.
  2. I’ve known you the longest. I have the fondest memories of late nights, lifetime movies, and long talks. I don’t always understand you and this causes disagreements – but deep down, in my heart of hearts, my only goal is to protect you. It’s hard to see you having a hard time – but I know it won’t last forever. Despite your circumstances, I wish for you to live a happy, positive, and comfortable life. I want you to know that I will always be here for you and you can always count on me. What I like about you is that you are compassionate. You would do anything for anyone if you could.
  3. You are my voice of reason. As you know, I am an anxious hypochondriac. I can be impulsive (working on it). You have a way with words. You are a natural comforter. You enjoy simple things – a minimalist in a way. Every time I have a free moment – I look forward to catching up with you. You are excited by the smallest things and it’s endearing. I think you should really give yourself more credit because you are one of a kind. What I like about you is how self-sufficient and independent you are.
  4. I’ve known you almost just as long as I’ve known number 2. I have such lovely memories of you as a child. We don’t keep in touch that often, but I know how busy you are. I think you are a beautiful person and I think I get a lot of my traits from you. You have an unwavering passion to save the world. You are sensitive, definitely an empath. You do your best, every day – and from my view, you do a really good job. What I like about you is that you always try to find the best in things and people. You like adventures, making new memories, creating happiness in the lives around you. None of life’s trials – no matter what they may be – will ever keep you down.
  5. I hope you’re having the time of your life right now. Everyone says that time flies – but you’ll soon realize how true it really is. You say you want to be like me and that makes me laugh. I think you should be so proud of who you are – I know I’m proud of you. You are fun and effortlessly beautiful. You are smart, caring, and strong. When I was your age I was much different. I deeply cared what those around me thought of me. I like that you don’t. Life doesn’t go downhill as you get older like some say – it just becomes different. Every year of my life has been different, my perspectives have changed, I have lost, I have gained, I have learned. I’ve started to realize that happiness is not a destination, it is a state of being. Never let a person or a circumstance have power over your happiness – it should be in your hands only. 3 things to keep in mind: 1) Boys will come and go. Don’t spend too much time upset over anyone. If someone walks out of your life, there was a reason (and your destiny is never tied to anyone who carelessly walks away from you). 2) Stay true to yourself. Stick up for the kid that people are making fun of, be an outsider, don’t follow the crowd, they have no idea where they’re going. 3) Family is the most important thing. Hands down. What I like about you is that you’re a true leader and you have the sweetest soul. Never lose that.
  6. I’ve always told you that you are a light to those around you. You are an idealist like myself. You share my love for metaphysics. You are uniquely creative and special in so many ways. I truly admire and look up to you. I love our 3-hour phone conversations and cherish them more than you know. I’ve learned so much from you – from learning how to apply make-up to learning how to clean my crystals. I wonder how I got so lucky with a friend like you – it’s immensely rare to find a friendship with so much depth. What I like about you is that you are unapologetically yourself. You will always be true to yourself.
  7. You make me laugh. Since I’ve gotten to know you, you really are one of the most interesting people I have met. You’re so open to the world around you – and people love you for that. You bring a sense of adventure and positivity everywhere you go. I really think you have a gift of making those around you happy and bringing laughter to their lives. You brighten the days of those around you, you’re going to do well in your new career. What I like about you is clear – you make me laugh (which is HUGE being that I never laugh at anything).
  8. You are my little self – except more determined and disciplined than I could ever be. I appreciate our friendship so much. We’ve shared so many thoughts, questions, and struggles with each other. You make me feel understood in this big world and I hope that I do the same for you. As you go through the different phases of life – know that I am always here and truly believe that you will change the world. You are a remarkable person and I truly appreciate that we have stayed in touch despite our distance. What I like about you is how determined you are to make a difference. You will be the type of person who makes a difference in this world. I can say that with certainty.
  9. In a city full of closed off people, you are very open – which makes you stand out. My intuition immediately told me that you were honest and trusting. Our friendship is effortless. We could do just about anything and have fun. You have really taught me – even without meaning to, to appreciate the little things in life and to look at things from different perspectives. I know that you will get more out of life, and it will be because you give more. What I like about you is how fearless and confident you are. You are an inspiration to those around you.
  10. You are probably who I spend the most time with. And I feel stupid writing this – but I could never leave you out of a list of people I most appreciate. You bring so much happiness and joy to my life. I love providing for you, protecting you, and spending my days with you. A day with you is never boring and I’m so happy to have you in my life. I couldn’t have chosen a better companion.

I now challenge all readers to do the same. Happy holidays!
Xo

November 21, 2016
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ASMR

Posted in Life by

Hope everyone is having a great Halloween so far! Today I’m going to discuss ASMR: my experiences and why I believe it’s beneficial. When I was really young, I remember watching a particular movie and experiencing what I now know as ASMR. A lot of people don’t know about ASMR and because it’s not spoken of much, they don’t realize that they’ve probably felt it before. ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. Basically it’s an acoustic or visual trigger that produces feelings of relaxation.

Some triggers: listening to a softly spoken/whispering voice, a repetitive sound (tapping, etc), receiving altruistic personal attention (think getting your hair cut, or for girls – getting your make up done).

Now I have to say – when I first kind of realized that this was a thing, I watched some of the videos and seriously said WTF. However, certain things work for certain people and while some are definitely a bit much – overall it is subjective. Regardless – with hundreds of thousands of people subscribed to ASMR You-tubers – it has to carry some weight.

Here are a few of my favorites:

  1. ASMR Darling
  2. ASMR Magic
  3. ASMR Blossom

My triggers are tapping and other random sounds (I’m constantly tapping on things myself because I love the sounds certain things make), having my make-up done, or just watching someone do something with a lot of detail in general. In the very few studies that have been done – it has been found that ASMR could potentially help with insomnia, anxiety, depression, and even headaches. It’s still very new and there is a lot to be learned but it’s definitely something you should look into if you experience any of the problems listed above. Just remember to be open minded 🙂

Do you watch ASMR videos? Let me know what you think!

Xo

October 31, 2016
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Photography

Posted in Life by

Sometimes, I grow tired of LA. But it’s times like these where I feel nothing but gratitude.
Still not used to using this camera; I have so much to learn. But these skies tonight >

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October 24, 2016
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My Current Wishlist

Posted in Life by

Just a short and sweet wishlist post to list a few items I’ve had my eye on lately. One thing that I’m realizing as far as shopping for clothes is that it’s important to do your research and try to purchase quality items when you can afford to do so. Instead of buying cheap clothing from H&M or F21 all the time – I’ve been trying to limit shopping for a few months so that I can afford to invest in better clothing that will last longer. This is the same for beauty products (I’m all about drug store make-up, but when it comes to washing my face I don’t want something full of chemicals that strips my face). In my opinion – certain things are worth investing in.

Not all of these items are within my own price range, but I’ve been making some pretty great sales on Poshmark so that will help a bit when I decide to buy something. Enjoy 🙂

  1. The Cecilia Pant by Elizabeth Suzan

These are awesome because they’re so versatile. Great for work or a night out + they’re 100% cotton.

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     2) The Maxine Crop by Elizabeth Suzann

I NEED this top. If you know me, you know I love anything backless. You can also wear the tied part in the front as well.

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     3) SW Basics Oil Serum

Saw this on @Shutthekaleup ‘s Instagram story of her daily go-to’s. Since her skin is absolutely beautiful I think this is a must-try. I currently use Osea’s roller ball facial oil that you can see in this post but since this one is a bit cheaper I think it’s worth a try.

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     4)  Adair Boots by Steve Madden

Of course you can never own too many pairs of shoes – especially cute ankle boots that go with absolutely everything. These are perfect and from my experience with SM shoes – they last forever if you take care of them.

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     5) The Passion Planner

So I’m awful at using planners. Maybe my life would be a whole lot more organized if I did (which would be awesome) but they only seem to gather dust in my apartment. If I were to try get more organized – I would use this. This planner helps you to stay motivated with pages for setting goals, to-do lists, and monthly reflection questions. And it’s about $24 so not the priciest I’ve seen.

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What’s on your current Wishlist? Leave a comment below so I can check out your blog!

Xo

October 20, 2016
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I’ve Done The Research So That You Don’t Have To: Protein Bars

Posted in Fitness by

Let me start off by saying that I am not a nutritionist or expert, I go off of my own research and experience. I care about what I put into my body and try to eat as many whole, nutritious, non-processed foods as possible. One in particular that I have trouble with is protein bars. I’ve been frustrated with manufacturers of protein bars for years. When I’m looking for a protein bar I look for something that will leave me full, nourished, and energized. Instead what I find are bars with as much sugar as an ice-cream sundae and a ton of fake overly-processed protein. Oh, and don’t believe the labels either, 5 grams of sugar could just mean the amount of real actual sugar that they used in the product – it doesn’t include all of the chemical, fake, and artificial sugar;  your body digests them all the same (Yes I’m talking about Quest, Luna, Cliff, etc.).

Here are my reviews of two bars that I tried recently:

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Rating: 3/5
Ingredients: Proto Whey® protein blend (Proto Whey [Micro Peptides™ from High-DH hydrolyzed whey protein [40% di and tripeptides], maltodextrin], whey protein isolate, milk protein isolate), peanut butter (peanuts, palm oil, sugar, salt), palm oil, enriched flour (wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), sugar, palm kernel oil, cocoa processed with alkali, fructose, soy lecithin, caramel color, natural flavors, salt, baking soda, stevia leaf extract.
First Impression: This is really good, I want to buy a ton!
Why I believe it deserves this rating: Upon further examination, this ingredient list made me add some new words to my vocabulary. Maltodextrin? That’s a highly processed food additive. Fructose and Steevia leaf extract? They’re just other words for sugar which means that there is more than 5 grams of sugar in the bar. When you eat a diet high in fructose your liver can actually become overloaded and it immediately processes the fructose into fat. Steevia leaf extract is popular right now, but IMO it’s fairly new – not a lot of studies have been done, and well, it’s still sugar.

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Rating: 5/5
Ingredients: (Chocolate Coconut): Dates, Egg Whites, Almonds, Cashews, Cacao, Coconut, Sea Salt, Natural Coconut
First Impression: Tastes OK, I feel full.
Why I believe it deserves this rating: Well, you notice that this ingredient list is a lot shorter. That’s because these bars are simple, natural, and not full of chemicals. I have to be honest, these don’t taste quite as good as quest, luna, or powercrunch bars but that is something that I can get used to.  I definitely felt fuller after eating this bar in comparison to the others. I’d much rather be eating wholesome real ingredients than fake overly processed ingredients that I can’t even pronounce. So kudos to RXBAR for being one of the first to do it, I’ll be stocking up!

Have you tried either of these? Let me know your thoughts!

Xo

August 17, 2016
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